The bins! The bins!

I returned from work tonight, walking down our street, thinking: "I wonder if I'll see my old friend tonight?" I glanced over to wheelie bin #2 and... AND!!! It's gone!! I feel uneasy. Unnerved. "Is this some kind of trick?"

I get myself together and mentally slap my face.

"Keep it together, they might be watching you."

"They? Who are they?"

I realise that I'm not in an episode of the Prisoner (alas) and look over to wheelie bin #3 for reassurance. That's gone as well! What is happening to my life? In the sad, damp space left by #3 ("I am not a number, I am a real wheelie bin") I see that some neighbours have left a few small, bulging binbags. It reminds me of the lamp-posts where grief-stricken parents tie flowers at the scene of a fatal car crash.

I look behind me for the never-mentioned #4, but that too has gone. From my vantage point I cannot see #1 but I know that it's not worth racing around the corner... They're all gone. IT'S OVER! In a very Roy Orbison kind of way.

Then it all becomes clear and I feel foolish for reacting in such an overblown way. It's August Bank Holiday weekend and the Notting Hill Carnival. The council always removes all bins to stop people setting fire to them or using them as giant beer coolers. Normal service will be resumed next week.

Caught on film part 2

I did a bit of a better job tonight. I got nearly 2 minutes footage of old Snoop Dog rummaging through wheelie bin #2. In it you can clearly see my old chum opening the lid of the bin and hunting through before returning to his cab (not sure if he got anything - maybe, maybe not) and zooming off in the snoop-mobile. I have handed this over to the appropriate authorities for analysis. Wow - it's all happening in downtown Westminster. Check it out.

Know your quarry

I thought it'd be worth giving a bit more of a description of the Bin Raider than I have previously provided. It's good to know what you're looking for. Mr Nosey is a short and stocky man with short dark hair and a permanent five o'clock shadow. He looks mediterranean in origin. The person he most resembles is Diego Armando Maradona although he's looked after himself rather better than the former Argentinian No 10. He looks a formidable figure in his brown protective tunic and always looks happy enough rummaging through the rubbish, although sometimes I worry that our pint-sized friend might fall into one of the wheelie bins just as the proper bin men turn up to load him into their crusher. Oh, what a mess that would make.

Caught on film

I managed to film Mr Bin on my wife's digital camera tonight. He had stopped at bin #2 and was having a root through. However, the combination of my camera skills and the fact I was filming from 10 yards away though a window meant that the results were inconclusive. Indeed I would have got better results if I'd decided to film my own backside. I need a new approach - maybe a "hide" like they have in those BBC wildlife programmes. And a proper video camera would be nice too. Now where would I get something like that???

Bags of fun

Today at 1.38pm - one of my helpers noticed our man with his apprentice scooping though bin #2 pulling out bin bags. Looking forward to my sting operation tomorrow. I bet it rains.

Nosing around

Back again Tuesday tonight, rooting through wheelie bin #2. He was too quick for me to capture on film. There was too much normal rubbish for him, it seems. Not enough administrative material, perhaps... I will snap him though.

Sunday, Sunday

Just a quickie to note Mr Snoop's arrival at his world of binbags at 2pm on Sunday. I was on my way out for the afternoon so I didn't get to see if he came back for more.

P.S. Elvis died on this day 27 years ago. I don't think there's a link - but you never know.

Not a football fan

Because he was here again at 3.30pm. He went straight past bin #2 cos it had the two cardboard boxes of old clothes I'd just thrown out poking over the top. The tramp who came by moments later was most taken by these items and now has a new wardrobe. Mr Snoop had a brief look in bin #3 and then left. I think he's losing his touch. He was back again at 4pm with his little helper. Stopped for a little look but no action.

He doesn't seem to be finding any juicy documents at all. Perhaps I'm not the only person who's noticed him. Perhaps my street is full of little amateur sleuths trying to nab the binraider...

And still he comes

It was reported to me that our very own Bin Lidden visited again on Friday between 5pm and 6pm and this time he had a little helper, just like Santa has. He looked in all of the bins but unfortunately for him he was out of luck because his colleagues (the ones who do their jobs) had just been and emptied everything. Maybe it was just a training exercise for his little protege. Who knows.

The waiting game

Just when I thought our friend had given up, and just as I was about to go to bed at 11.18pm, Mr Refusophile arrives in his trusty, crusty vehicle. But instead of stopping at the bins and having his usual root through. He just parks up between bin #2 and #3. I see movement in his little cabin like he's looking though papers but for the most part it just looks as though he's waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Is this a drop-off? Am I going to see a package in a manilla envelope being passed through the window of his little cabin-of-earthly-delights to a shady looking recipient? Well, boringly enough, no. Apart from me noticing a young boy on a bicycle circling around nearby, nothing. Maybe our friend was just enjoying a flask of tea and a rather tired sandwich after a hard day's sweeping. Maybe. Anyway at 10 past midnight he starts up his little engine and heads off into the night.

As Alice might say: "Curiouser and curiouser".

The heat is on

Last night I was taking some stuff out to my car when snoopy-boy turned up. I could hear him sniffing through bin #1 and then he came around the corner to attempt bin #2 while I was closing the boot of the car. Maybe it's the rain we've suffered in the last day or two but he seems less interested than usual. Again bin #3 is sadly neglected. I hope it's not me. Maybe he's noticed my interest and reckons I'm onto him. I do hope not. This has just begun to get interesting.

Police, Car, Action!

Tonight after I got home from work I was ordered out to the off-licence to purchase a bottle of wine. I went with very little arm-twisting. As I stepped out of my flat at about 8pm I noticed a parked police car and a constable chatting with a neighbour. "I hope nothing bad has happened", I thought. A few moments later, as I was tootling along the main road en route to the offy, I saw Mr Snoopy-Drawers speed past in his super-charged Street-Sweeping-Machine.

"Wow, maybe the Policeman I saw is investigating our very own Bindiana Jones... I can't miss this", I thought.

So I ran back to my road, hid in the bushes, and watched the drama unfold.

"There he is hunting through bin #1", I observed. "The Police car's still there, just by bin #2. I wonder if our bin raider will spot the panda car?".

Sure enough the little street-sweep-machine starts up and heads for bin #2. He stops and thinks about getting out of his cabin. Then he spots the parked police vehicle. Startled, he starts up his little engine and makes like the wind, neglecting bin #3 altogether.

Our friend definitely has something to hide. From the long arm of the law at least.

The old man's back again

No sooner had I got back off my holidays... Mr Snoopy Nose was back snooping through my rubbish. This time he pulled out what looked like a huge computer printout (you know, the ones with sheets and sheets of perforated pages with holes running along the edges). He spent about 10 minutes looking through stuff and then sped off keeping the lucrative trash in his little cabin.

He came back at 17:15 but he couldn't gain access as someone was parked in front of the black bin-on-wheels. (tee hee)

I wonder how he finds the time to actually clean the streets...